Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
