The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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