i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
