He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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