omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
