go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
