Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Jerry, you need to find god
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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