Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
