I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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