you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
