my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
