She's JV to your varsity
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize