Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
