He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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