And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I have post one night stand depression
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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