hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
