he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I looked at my own cervix.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
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