found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
