Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
