It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
