It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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