So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
