just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
