Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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