Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
