I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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