Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I am one with the molecules
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
