ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Pooping to opera.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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