in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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