So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
