remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
