i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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