I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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