"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
