How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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