Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
