I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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