i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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