you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
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