I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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