did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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