Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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