Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
