Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
