I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
