and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Come share oat with me in your robe
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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