the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
