What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.â€
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
