I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
