I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize