quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
