Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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