whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
