It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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