a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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