I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize