Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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