Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
