Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize