i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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