my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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