Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
