just tell him i said nine months
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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