He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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