you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
