I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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