so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
