I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
