I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
