I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
