My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
